You BIG Tease!!

I bet most of you have heard the phrase “Dick Tease”? Well, if by some remote chance you haven’t heard the phrase I think is pretty self explanatory, it’s teasing or arousing a man, leading him on, letting him believe that something wonderful is about to happen to him sexual, then not following through. And in a man’s book a “Dick Tease” is just about the WORST thing a women can be.

Well I gotta phrase for you, “DISH TEASE” yea I said it! D.I.S.H. TEASE! You ever had one of those in your life? I bet you have! It’s when a man says he’s going to do the dishes, leads you on, get’s you all worked up and aroused by the thought that you just might have one less freaking thing to do at the end of the night. You’re in another room hearing the dishes clank around and your heart starts to race at the thought of his hands slowly wiping a dishcloth over those dirty, nasty, dishes…. Your naughty, YOUR NAUGHTY!

You quietly tiptoe to the kitchen for a peek; you just need one look of your man bent over that dishwasher to take you over the edge. You run your fingers around the corner of the wall then follow with your eyes….. What the FU**??? Where’s my man? Suddenly you hear the TV in the next room; you franticly look around the kitchen and see the crusted pots and pans still on the stove, food particles on the countertops, and crumbs on the floor. HE COULDN’T BE DONE!? You think to yourself, you race the TV room with the look of desperation in your eyes... “Are you going to finish the dishes?” you ask hoping the answer is going to be a definite “YES” but to your dismay he states: “I did finish the dishes”.
“Well what about the pots and pans?” You ask without trying to sound too desperate. “They didn’t fit in the dishwasher” he replies. “Well, it’s not done! It looks like crap! It’s not CLEAN!” to which MY “DISH TEASE” responds with “Look, I did my best. I’m tired, and least I tried, can’t you just be happy I did the dishes for you?” For me? Why the hell is it for me? I work also, everyone eats…
Soon you began to realize if you want to be satisfied you’re going to have to finish the job yourself.
I don’t know about the rest of you women out there but to me a “DISH TEASE” is EVERY BIT as bad as a “DICK TEASE” if not worse! At least if a man has to “finish the job himself” (if you get my drift) it just takes him some dirty thoughts, a few strokes and the job is done! When finishing the dishes after he offered to do the job? The only dirty thought running through my head involves a shovel of dirt and an early grave for someone sharing the same last name!

I wonder to myself how it would be if tonight I tell my husband I’m going to “do him”! I’m going to take him to places his body and mind didn’t even know existed, and right when he needs a visual to take him over the top, I’m going to go watch TV. When he comes to me with that look of desperation and say’s “What happened? You’re not done! What about the rubbing, caressing, the sex?”
I’ll simply say “Look, I did my best; I’m tired, why can’t you be happy that I tried?” “The machine is loaded, go finish the job”
I bet you the next time he offers to do the dishes, HE FINISHES THE JOB!