Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Blurry Line...

I have had some emails and comments on my blog, about my stories. It just simply AMAZES me how differently men and women view what I’m writing about... With women you see things like: “LOL!” “I was CRACKING UP!” Or “I KNOW! I feel the same way!” Even women I know and close friends who have read some post see it as a light hearted funny blog that they in some way can relate to.
Men? Well that my friend is a COMPLETELY different story. They see it as “Man Bashing” degrading, me holding out sex in a loveless and cruel way... (Ouch!)

So to the men reading this: I LOVE my husband. This isn’t about LOVE. It’s not about being cruel or degrading. It's about making light of my sexlife! And seeing that there isn't anything WRONG with me or other women like me. I think the blurry line here is that men see that SEX is directly related to showing LOVE and I (and a lot of women I talk to) don’t.

I show my husband and family LOVE though the everyday things I do, as does my husband. But at the end of a LOOONNNNNGGGGG day of work and being completely drained, when my husband say’s “Are we going to get it on?” I didn’t hear “I love you so much, is there anything I can do to help out” Does that mean he doesn't love me? NO!

There are times when we have worked together on a project or were on vacation or he has just made an effort to pitch in that I do feel like “Making Love” and being close, there are also times when I’m just in a good mood or had a drink or feel relaxed that I just want to have “SEX”
But, DAY TO DAY, after an 8-9 hour work day, then a 6 additional hours of housework, homework, dinner, laundry, school projects etc. I don’t usually feel like having “SEX” it in no way means I don’t LOVE my husband it means I’M TIRED! And a little personal time would be nice.

Case and point:
September 9, 2009
My day:

Woke up 7am
Got Kids off to school
Left for work
Left work at 2 to pick up one child, went back to work, left work again at 2:50 picked up another child, went back to work.
5:30 get home start dinner and homework with kids
6:30 wrap up dinner, take kids friends home
7:00 load up baby, and older siblings, go to store to get cat food and stuff to pack school lunches
7:30 get home put away groceries take baby for a walk
8:30 bath baby and lay him down (30 min process)
9:00 get other siblings off to bed
9:30 come downstairs do dinner dishes
10:00 Kids are asleep, house is clean, and husband wants sex….

Husbands Day:
6 am leaves for work
4pm comes home
Takes nap until 7pm when I wake him up to let him know dinner is done.
7:30 eats dinner
8:00 takes child for 15 min ride on motorcycle
8:20 Sits down with chips I bought for school lunches and starts to watch TV
10 pm see’s that I’m done with everything, wants to have sex

Did sex happen? No, I was too TIRED!
I LOVE him, neither of us is perfect by any means, BUT “SEX” is just not high on MY “PRIORITY LIST” just like day to day house work is not on HIS “PRIORITY LIST”
I’m not saying all days are like this one but most. How often do we have sex? You do the math. The way I see it, in order for us to get on the same page sexualy we BOTH have make things in our lives a higher priority.
Does any of this mean I don’t LOVE him? NO. It just means I’m TIRED!! does that make me a heartless loveless bitch who holds out on sex, well, you decide... either way I'm to tired to give a shit!

4 comments:

  1. LOL..."eats chips you bought for school lunch."
    Well Brad and I have different opinions about what this blog is really about... good job explaining.

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  2. Bottom line is ORGASMS feel good! We all know that! And if I was guaranteed to have one 99.9% of the time in as little as 15 minutes or less, I would want sex too and the end of every day! Who wouldn't want to feel that? Problem is men, is that women DON'T always have them, especially within 15 minutes or less and they are TOO tired to have to work the full 45 minutes or more to have one so help with the @!**!* housework, kids, yard, etc. and maybe it will relieve them just enough and give them enough time to want to at least please you and make an effort to fake one for them.

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  3. I thought of something else you forgot to add....while I was up at 2am nursing my baby.

    2AM - up with a baby that wants to be nursed and or sick kids that need caring for. Which pretty much starts your whole day off tired.

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  4. Dear Miss Anonymous... I do have one EVERY time and in LESS then 5 min. I am here to tell you that when the end of the days comes that still doesn't make me want to do it everyday due to all of the housework, kids, cooking, laundry, baby... ETC
    LOVE
    ANONYMOUS #2

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