YOU BIG FAKER!!

Hey all!
Well aunti flow is in town for the week so the 7 day sexcast is looking partly cloudy with possible thunderstorms later in the week and ending in a drought...

So I was laying in bed the other night and I had just gotten the baby to sleep and feeling a bit drowsy myself. I started drifting off when I heard the footsteps coming up the stairs, closer and closer they came... my heart began to race, FALL ASLEEP DAMMIT! I was screaming in my head... the door opened and my husband came in, thoughts were racing through my head...
"is he tired?" "Why is he coming to bed so soon?" "oh, God, I need sleep!" "does he need SEX?" (that's a stupid question)
Even with all of these thoughts running through my head I remained perfectly still, my breathing slow and even, my eyes closed softly...
HOLY SHIT! I'm FAKE SLEEPING! Is it working???? I feel him climb into bed, roll over and go to sleep, within seconds he's snoring....
So I'm not sure if he ever wanted anything but, what the hell?? I discovered that being a wife and mother has led me to be the BEST FAKER of all time! I'm serious! Look at everything I
fake:
1) ORGASM (not always but yes, i have faked it and really well)
2) SLEEP
3) When my kids or husband cook something " YOU DID SO GOOD! This is the BEST thing I have EVER tasted!"
4) Door Knockers (when missionaries or sales people or neighbors shows up unexpected)
"I don't mind at all, you're so great!"

And I know there is more! But the key to being good at faking is LOVE! That's why I'm so good at it! Just like when an actor is SOOOO GOOD in a movie, it's because he LOVES the role he's playing.
I LOVE my husband and kids so I would NEVER want them to think anything other than what they cooked me was the best, or that was the BEST sex ever or I'm asleep, that's all just asleep.
So I may be a big FAKER but I do it with a Big heart.
So, my question to all of you is... are you a big fat faker??