YOU BIG FAKER!!

Hey all!
Well aunti flow is in town for the week so the 7 day sexcast is looking partly cloudy with possible thunderstorms later in the week and ending in a drought...

So I was laying in bed the other night and I had just gotten the baby to sleep and feeling a bit drowsy myself. I started drifting off when I heard the footsteps coming up the stairs, closer and closer they came... my heart began to race, FALL ASLEEP DAMMIT! I was screaming in my head... the door opened and my husband came in, thoughts were racing through my head...
"is he tired?" "Why is he coming to bed so soon?" "oh, God, I need sleep!" "does he need SEX?" (that's a stupid question)
Even with all of these thoughts running through my head I remained perfectly still, my breathing slow and even, my eyes closed softly...
HOLY SHIT! I'm FAKE SLEEPING! Is it working???? I feel him climb into bed, roll over and go to sleep, within seconds he's snoring....
So I'm not sure if he ever wanted anything but, what the hell?? I discovered that being a wife and mother has led me to be the BEST FAKER of all time! I'm serious! Look at everything I
fake:
1) ORGASM (not always but yes, i have faked it and really well)
2) SLEEP
3) When my kids or husband cook something " YOU DID SO GOOD! This is the BEST thing I have EVER tasted!"
4) Door Knockers (when missionaries or sales people or neighbors shows up unexpected)
"I don't mind at all, you're so great!"

And I know there is more! But the key to being good at faking is LOVE! That's why I'm so good at it! Just like when an actor is SOOOO GOOD in a movie, it's because he LOVES the role he's playing.
I LOVE my husband and kids so I would NEVER want them to think anything other than what they cooked me was the best, or that was the BEST sex ever or I'm asleep, that's all just asleep.
So I may be a big FAKER but I do it with a Big heart.
So, my question to all of you is... are you a big fat faker??

AND THE WINNER FOR PRETTIEST VAGINA IS!...

SO after my post about my "VAGIGI" having a really close and horrific resemblance to the underwater beast "The Kraken" (see Release The Kraken post) it got me to thinking, Maybe that's how it's suppose to look?? I don't know, I'm not saying it was a pretty sight (not to me anyway) but what are we comparing it to? Really? MOVIE STAR VAGINA'S that's what! And I'm not just talking porn stars, I was watching an episode of "Keeping up with the Kardashians" and it was all about the one sister having a panic attack because she needed a wax because her vagina had to be perfect for her husband came to visit. I thought "it's bad enough that every fiber of me has to feel inferior to most women in Hollywood, but now even my VAGINA is not up to snuff??!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! " No one, (except me getting to know the Kraken) not even my husband has got a close up look in quite some time so does it really matter??

I have NO problem with the regular bikini area shave and keeping clean and trim, but I think the whole pretty vagina thing has gotten completely out of hand! I decided to Google "waxing your vagina" and it came up with 1,510,000 results! Now let me spell this out for you, ONE MILLION,FIVE HUNDRED AND TEN THOUSAND results on waxing your crotch! There is even support blogging groups for women who think they have ugly vagina's! REALLY?? If your in a support group for this I have 3 words for you... YOU NEED JESUS

I have absolutely NO problem with women who want to do this but let's face it, the pressure being put on women today has gotten out of control. Now I have to be Keeper of the KRAKEN just to feel like I haven't completely let myself go? So I'm posting the question to you all to pose to the man in your life... AND PLEASE be honest here... Does it really matter?? I'm not talking being clean, and trimmed but at the end of the day when the man in your life is about to FINALLY get some ass do you think he will stop and say "Well, you didn't shave and I don't see any bling so I'm going to have to pass, your vagina is just to unkept for my taste" I KNOW my man doesn't! I'm sure he would be all sorts of turned on if I did have the ass and breast of Kim Kardashian, and the very pretty and kept Vagina of her sister but he doesn't, he has me...Kracken and all! He seems to get it all up and going with no problem at all and has for 15 years. I'm all for a pretty, perfectly shaped, glittering vagina, but I'm also all for a clean house happy kids, a successful business and some sleep!

So I guess what I'm saying is in the scheme of it all I really just don't give a shit if every women in America is waxing, molding and shaping their vagina for the prettiest vagina contest, I will be sitting on the sidelines with my maybe "trimmed" up beasty and beer cheering you all on and still getting laid (if I've had enough to drink)

RELEASE THE KRACKEN!

So I started watching this show on the OWN network, for those 5 people out their who don't know, Oprah now owns her own network called "OWN"
Anyway, the show is about a sex therapist who goes and visits couples who's relationships are on the brink due to lack of a sex life, so far every episode I have seen it's been the women who have become disenchanted with the whole thing (Big Surprise) ANYWAY, it's actually really good and the sex therapist has given a lot of good advice and some really good things to think about. She gives homework assignments to couples, most of the time I think " good assignment" until last night, she assigned one women to take a mirror and look at her vagina so she could "Know herself" ???? What the HELL?? What is squatting on a mirror going to do? Well I'll tell you what it did for me, it scared the living shit out of me! Now to be fair to this therapist (I am a professional blogger)...I thought "well before I knock it I should try it and give my fair opinion, maybe I'll find my long lost libido down there" NOT THE CASE! To start I was in the tub when I decided to give this therapist advice a try. I didn't have a mirror but I could see my reflection in the chrome round thing in the tub that's above the drain and below the faucet, you know what I'm talking about?? if you don't go take a look at your tub, ANYWAY so I thought " it's kind of like a mirror and the image wont be really clear so how bad can it be?" Well, have you ever seen 'Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Mans Chest' where Davy Jones sends the under water beast, the Kraken to get Captain Jack? If you haven't I've attached a picture to this post to give you an idea of the image that awaited me... It was HORRIFYING!!
I was trying to see over all my junk, (stomach, rolls, skin etc) and I didn't have my contacts in so THANK GOD for little mercies because I can tell you there is a REASON we can't see it! It looked viscous and stubby yet hairy at the same time, I swear it had teeth! If my libido was lost down there, I don't think there is a chance in hell it will be recovered! Now I've seen other beasties and all I can say is I'm immediately looking into waxing, some sort of vagina therapy and Kegal exercises will be on the calender every day from this day forward. I will slay this beast! Oh, it's on! All I can say is the next time my husband wants to get it on I will be yelling
"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!"

Bite it HARD!

Well thanks to a broken tooth and a very unwelcome root canal I have not been able to put out yet, I know what your all thinking.... YEA RIGHT! But this time I'm SERIOUS!! I had a root canal done on a tooth that broke and the pain has not let up since! I went back to the dentist and he said he thinks it's just sore and wait until Monday... Well it's Sunday and I woke up and had 4 ibuprofen for breakfast! The only thing that helps is when I bite down really hard and hold my jaw tight, it puts pressure on the tooth and the pain stops for a minute. So I was laying there this morning tighting my jaw and I thought I need a teether! something I can bit hard on to put pressure on my tooth! I rolled over and brushed up against my husband while I was trying to get up and he had his normal morning wood... And just for a moment I thought... yea you guessed it, I wonder if I bite it hard while it's hard will that help my tooth?? I'm willing to do just about anything at this point to make the pain stop! I get tooth relief, he gets sexual relief.....I could just gnaw on it to sooth my gums...... Well needless to say for the first time EVER my husband turned me down flat! I guess I can't blame him, even out of his desperation I'm sure me using his manhood as a chew toy isn't appealing. So, I'm off to the store to buy a teething ring and some anbesol... and as for my sex life? well I'm married and in pain... you do the math

Quick update!

Yep, just as I suspected, the husband got home, saw the new hair and made an offer to go upstairs and try it out... I had to of course decline due to many reasons mostly, kids, dinner, homework and of course I'm exhausted BUT, I didn't shut him down completely I gave him a glimmer of hope by saying with a bit of a twinkle in my eye: "the baby took a nap and just might go to sleep tonight" .. He's now downstairs pumping iron. I guess I'll start doing sit ups????

Tonights the night...

Well, I got my hair done, showered, shaved and I'm toying with the idea of getting on the treadmill, all in all this is the recipe for love... or just a quickie or maybe just a "brush up against him but maybe this weekend we'll make it happen" glance... I know for certain it's officially on the calender, when the bleach goes in the roots, the sex gets put on the calendar! Good thing I can only afford to get my hair done twice a year!

Miss me yet????

Well ladies, and men (maybe) I'm back! YEA~!~ It's been at least a year since my last confession, oh ...I mean post and well I thought it was time to get my fat ass back in the saddle and start blogging! Are you excited?? I'm! OK, so long time uh? lots of catching up to do so lets make it quick so we can get to the nitty gritty of the last year

First: I lost a few pounds! (about 2o)
Second: I gained some of them back...(about 12)
Third: it did in fact help my sex life a tiny bit
Fourth: It didn't help it enough to write home about...
Last: not much has changed here, still not horny, but somewhat happy, husband still not getting much but I think he's coping... Still think I'm pretty average, and so are you... THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE ME!!

Well that's about it. So here it is, I was reading through my past blogs and laughing hysterically at myself (those who know me know this is a common thing) and I thought, I'm just to dam good at this not to be sharing it with the world, SO... I will commit to blogging at least 3 times a week! I invite you to come along....

I'm Back Bitches!!

Guess who’s Back?? ME! So sorry to all my beloved followers… I’ve had ONE HELL of an October! Over committed, over worked, and then… swine flu went through the ENTIRE family!! So, how has the sex life been going you ask? It hasn’t. I think I’ve put out ONE time in the past month and I’m not sure if me lying on my back with my head turned to the side while trying to not breathe on my husband during our 30 second interlude would even be counted as “sex” but oh well, I’m counting it! I want to start off my return with letting everyone know that out of the $21.00 raised only $5.00 went into my account due to paypal and bank fee’s. So, I’m canceling the donation section of my blog and I will buy a gift for the angel tree with the money donated to date. I will come up with another way to work towards my goal of a healthier sex life and body. THANK YOU to all who donated for your support and belief in me. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out the way I had hoped. Time to get back on track. I will be blogging EVERY DAY again! YEA!! And I will be walking EVERY DAY also! AND, (could there be more you ask?) Nope, that’s it. I think blogging and walking is enough for now… JUST KIDDING!! I will try to explore my inner sexiness and once again find it in me to try and give two shits about sex and bla, bla, bla…. I’m back and that’s what matters. So get ready ladies and my one male that reads sometimes, it’s gonna get hairy!

Finding the "SPARK PLUG"

I got home from work this evening to my husband in the driveway with the hood of our Honda Accord up. He was tinkering or whatever. ANYWAY, later he came in and said he was trying to change the spark plugs in the car and had a hell of a time finding them, to which I replied "not much different from the bedroom then uh?" to which he said " oh, I don't give a shit about that anymore" call me a bitch but "WHAT THE HELL?!" I know he wants sex but here inlies the problem! for men, an organism happens in 30 seconds or less, me and most women I talk to: the biggest "O" in their lives arrives at 4pm when Ophrah comes on. Give me a freaking break! I was so irritated. Now I KNOW I'm going to regret this rant, but HOLY SHIT! NO WONDER WOMEN DON'T GIVE A SHIT! Were expected to work FULL TIME, clean, still be a fun loving full time, PTA volunteering mom, A wife that puts out, takes care of herself, keeps EVERYTHING on the up and up and the ONLY thing most men are expected to do is keep a job. Let's see , it's 11:30 pm , the baby is up due to a late nap until probably about 1:30 am. Is my mechanic under the hood trying to find the "Spark Plug"? Oh, no... He clocked out at 5 and was in bed by 10 regardless of what was going on in the shop. Here's the thing, I don't have to look for his spark plug, it's in plain view, on the freaking dash board with flashing neon lights saying "TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME!" And the moment I locate the spark plug the motor revs up. I know it takes much more work under my hood then his, and most of the time I don't have time to work in the "SHOP" if you know what I mean. But at least "CARE" where my spark plugs are! In the mean time I'm suppose to be some fun loving, hot for my husband, walking for a tummy tuck, giving 100% , money making bitch. Well, I'm tired as hell and I'm don't give a rat's ASS if my husband EVER finds the FREAKING SPARK PLUG AGAIN! I think I just may put batteries in the new butterfly bullet thingy I got for my birthday and see what the future brings. Love to all my bitches! Peace out!

The Magic Bullet~ It's not just for quick quacamole baby!

So I got a birthday surprise from some close friends of mine...(you know who you are!) They picked my up today and took me to a dirty store and I don't mean the floors were sticky! I guess I 'm going to fess up to the blog world, I'm a virgin in the sexual electronic department and and after seeing what was on the shelves?? HOLY SHIT! The world has come A LONG way since the egg beater!

There were things that looked like a cactus with balls that you sit on?? and little bunnies with ears but something told me these bunnies had something more to offer than good hearing! There was a particular item called a "g ring" I think, It looked interesting. I had NO IDEA were to begin! My friends however were pros! they were shopping like it was the dairy department at the local grocer. Not a big deal. They agreed to start out simple and work my way up. So, I got some pop rocks your throw them in your mouth then throw your mouth on things and share in the popping! I thought this was a good idea, just in case I don't have sex I have a fun treat for later! Some dirty dice and a little thing called the butterfly bullet. I got it upon recommendation of the girls I was with, also it was cute and pink with a butterfly pattern on it. So we'll see what happens. I might just be on to something new in the bedroom! And as my close friend likes to say "Maybe the Hokey Poky is what it's all about!" (And you know who you are!)

ARRR! It's my Birthday! Where's the RUM?

20 some odd years ago from today the world was blessed with my birth! Ok, I'll tell: I'm 36! I cannot believe it! My husband came in and said "this is perfect! I've always wanted to screw a 36 year old, I better take a nap so I don't fall asleep during it"
What a smart ass he is! I told him it was MY BIRTHDAY and tapping the ass of a sleepy turtle wasn't exactly what I had in mind (see turtle post!) then he sweetend the deal with pizza (I wont have to cook dinner) a full size cut out of Captain Jack at the foot of my bed and a cheap bottle of wine! Looks like that turtle may cum out of it's shell after all~

LOOK AT MY TURLTE!

Have you ever noticed how proud men are of their shlongs? (that's what I call a penis)
A mans shlong is their buddy, their little friend. The one thing in life they can count on to always be there. When all alone and bored they know that it’s there, just hanging around waiting to cum out to play. Men are always grabbing it to make sure it hasn’t gone anywhere. Have you noticed in movies when men get mad and want to tell someone off they grab it aggressively, pull on it and say things like “Yea? Well suck this!” and they feel empowered when it’s in their hands! It seems to give them a sense of security like a loaded gun. “THIS IS MY DICK!” They think to themselves. And they are proud!

I’ve never thought “Shlongs” were necessarily a visual turn on. I mean, when their limp they kinda look like a turtle head pulled back into its shell with one tired eye always looking out. Then you have the balls hanging around… and when it’s hard? It seems like you better just take a hold of the situation before it gets out of hand!

Although I don’t think my husbands Shlong is...I don’t know, “CUTE” I think it’s cute how proud he is of it. Every time he whips it out of nowhere and shows it to me, it’s like a toddler showing me his first art project that he’s so proud of! I just shake my head, smile and say:
“Yes honey, it’s still there, and it’s YOUR DICK! Now put it away” and like a proud innocent yet evil little child he tucks his turtle back in its shell and skips away.

Donation update: I still haven't walked anymore or given my husband his "special" gift. NOt because I haven't tried, I have been up with the baby for 4 nights straight until 2 am! I plan on getting on track this week! I already have something special planned. You'll love it! THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!!

I have a MALE!!!

Ok, I have a Male and Female who have volunteered to do the interviews! This is going to be fun!! I am sending the interviews to them Via Email, Wednesday or Thursday of this week (I'm not quite done with the questions) and I will post their answers as soon as I receive them back.
Thanks!!

I have a Female, I need a MALE!

I have a female to interview for this blog. (read where theres a will theres a way post) Now I need a GUY! Come on boys... time to REPRESENT!!

Where there's a will there's a way....

Where there's a will there's a way
Meaning: If we have the determination to do something, we can always find the path or method to do it..

I heard this saying the other day and it got me to thinking about what I'm doing here on this blog. I thought about what this saying really means: If we have the determination to do something, we can ALWAYS find the way.

My husband told me we have the WORST sex life out of any married couple out there. Does this picture look familiar? Although she's playing cards on his back, he's ok because at least he's gettin some ass! Well, it looked familiar to me, though I don't play cards. It wasn't always like this. There was once a time when I felt sexy, and I ENJOYED sex. I really got into it. I liked being wanted. Now I just feel and act put out if my husband mentions it. I don't want to be the couple in this picture, do you?

It seems to in order to get our sex life (and marriage) back on track for me or anyone out there reading this that feel their relationship is in same boat, you have to start with a "WILL" to get it on track. So I asked myself: "am I willing to do what it takes to start having sex again on a regular basis, and not just have it to have it, but to ENJOY it and grow closer because of it?" And the answer for me was "YES"

I asked MYSELF the questions because the more I blog and self discover the more I realize that It is A LOT more about ME than I thought. It starts with me and what I need to do.

I think I'm on the right track as far as the "WAY" part goes. I'm working on myself. I'm making my husband a priority in my DAILY life. And with blogging it's helped to see that I'm not alone.

With that: I would like to interview a man and women for a post on my blog. ( it doesn't have to be a couple) I will email you a list of questions to answer that I feel would dig deeper into the sex life of married people from others perspectives. I would LOVE to see that we are not alone and that we can all (men and women) start working together to have healthier sex lives. I don't know about the rest of you but I want to feel YOUNG for a very long time and being active in the bedroom I feel will help that, a preferably with the one we love. SO, if you are interested in being interviewed for this blog, it can be anonymous or not please email me at : marriedsexlife@gmail.com

Donation Update: I just hit the $20 mark! YEA!! So, my husband is in for something special. (tomorrows post) Thanks for the comments, suggestions and donations!! My goal is to have my miles walked caught up with donations by Wednesday Sept. 30th and remember, giving is receiving!!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Donation Update

I got $3.00 more donated TODAY!!
THANKS SO MUCH!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! I'm going to walk 10 miles tomorrow! 5 miles in the morning 5 miles in the evening!
$1.00 more and I hit a $20.00 benchmark and I have to do something special for my husband. (any suggestions??) Come on boy's let's keep it clean!

AC/DC gets it, Why can't I??

So I’m working out on the treadmill trying to catch up on the miles donated to my TUMMY TUCK & Sex project. I’m listening to AC/DC. GREAT band. Here are the songs I heard in order:
*Back in Black
* Big Balls
*Given the dog a bone
*Have a drink on me
*It’s a long way to the Top (5,000 freaking miles for me if you donate a dollar today!)
*Let me put my love into you
*Little Lover
*Love at first FEEL
*Sink the Pig
*Squealer
*TNT
*What you do for money honey
*Who made who
*You shook me all night long!!
Now listen, if you’re going to work out to get your sex life on track, download these songs in this order and tell me you’re not ready to jump your husband by the end of your workout??

This is what I got out of the music,

*Back in Black I hit the sack, I bet your glad to be back with your Big Balls, Given me your doggy bone after having a drink on me cuz it’s a long way to the top if you let me put my love into you, little lover. I fell in LOVE at first Feel when we played sink the pig and I became a squealer! It was like TNT! And this blog??? What you do for money honey, Who made Who?? Who gives a shit? Just shake me all night long!

EVERY SINGLE SONG was related to SEX in some way! I felt my ass twitch a as I was shaken it while walking. I knew almost every word to every song. It was great! I really hadn’t listened to these songs since High School. I felt young. I wanted to rat my hair up as high as I could get it, put on some tight jeans (that’s easy, every pair I own are tight) lather my lips in shiny gloss, roll up a fatty of love and friendship and GET IT ON!
I knew I didn’t have the same body as I did in School, or a drug dealer, but I have something my husband wanted, and AC/DC told me to give it to him, who was I to argue?So yes, he got it tonight, not all night long, not even all minute long but who cares, I felt young, vibrant, and sexy (even a bit tipsy due to the wine) …. And that’s all that matters! Rock on Bitches, ROCK ON!

The Man Who Listened... (ANOTHER MALE COMMENT!)

I would LOVE every women to read this comment by a man!

ok, so I have been shown your blog by my wife and I find it interesting. The following are my

thoughts. I currently think my wife and I could compete with you for "the worst" sex life. 10+ years of marriage, 3 kids with one being a just over 1 year have taken the toll on us. I, being male, do think with my lower head like pretty much like every male out there. And yes your "whoop there it is" post would apply to me as well, you want to know why? Well you never know when that split second of horny might happen.

Don't get me wrong I know I am a little annoying with it but I would take anything I can get right now. My wife expresses your same contempt for her body as you do; childbirth has done its damage... to the both of us! My sympathy weight came on with hers. My wife tells me that she is not happy with her body and that is why she would rather not have sex. She doesn't feel sexy. I am nothing to look at right now either but I am working on it. I know my wife loves me I just wish that physical connection was there and more frequent.

I have yet to meet or even hear about the woman that is into sex, that isn't getting paid for it, like men are. We are interested in having sex pretty much at anytime in anyplace. Do you enjoy sex? Do you have sex with your husband to get it over with or to please yourself? Do you have the big O every time? Do you tell your husband what you want? The answer to these will reveal some issues I think.

I think your goal for $5000 is great and I am pretty sure you will get “donations” from your husband as well if he is smart.

But while I mention him let me tell you something about the picture you paint about him. You paint with your words as well as Bob Ross painting some happy little trees. Your husband sounds like a Jack Ass. Does he dig ditches for a living? Is his job stressful? Missile command? Air traffic control? Construction? A 3 hour nap after work? Are you fu***** kidding me? I have worked some shitty jobs in my day but after 1 week I am used to the schedule and can function after work. You say your husband reads this blog, well I hope he reads this part, GROW UP! The days of Ward and June Cleaver died out long ago. Participate with your family before it is only weekends that you get to see your kids. Ok that might have been a little harsh but if the painting that I am looking at fits the subject, I don't think I am.

I have a pretty easy job. I am a desk jockey in the technical field, but I worked hard to get where I am. I help out at home quite a bit if I do say so myself. My day would be like this. Wake up with the kids and help with them to be ready to be out the door for school; go to work; come home and help with kids, house, dinner, whatever; help get the kids to bed; spend time doing my own things and hang out with the wife till she falls asleep or I do. Personally I run on about 5-6 hours of sleep, more than that and I feel worse off. I know I could be the exception to the rule that you state but that is how I feel things in a modern home should be.

I am not saying that your situation is any better than mine, but I see your switches quite clearly. If I knew that “dishes = sex” you would never see a dish in the sink. You are laying out the treasure map for your husband. Hell if this was Dora the Explorer some freaky little map would be jumping up and down right now yelling "LAWN, DISHES, PLEASURE VALLEY!"
I am interested to follow you along on your journey and see where or what becomes of this. I will probably comment again but I will try to keep it brief. Maybe I can find the Treasure map at my house along the way.

My response:
Oh my goodness! Where to begin!
First off, THANK YOU for what seems to be such an honest comment. AND I LOVED the “DORA THE EXPLORER” add in, I was just LAUGHING my ass off! It was great! Just the fact you know the show shows me that you are in tune with your kids.
Secondly, My husband is not a "Jack ASS" he's not perfect for sure but who is? I'm the only one allowed to call him namses!

To answer your questions… Honestly?
Do you have sex with your husband to get it over with: Yes. Not ALWAYS to get it over with but because I know he needs it at least once in awhile and I’m his wife, sooooo…..And RARELY to just please myself. I could go MONTHS without it and never give it a second thought.

Do you have the big O every time? No. I have a little “O” here and there and once in awhile a medium to large “O” I don’t have easy “O”’s by any means it takes some effort and being as I usually start out with “ok, we have about 3.5 min before the baby wakes up so make it quick!” I think I pretty much set the pace right out of the gate. To be honest, I really don’t care to have the big “O” that much. And from talking to a lot of my friends, they don’t care either. I think it means more to the man that he is able to deliver the big “O” than to women that she has one. It gives him a sense of validation in the bedroom.


I appreciate the fact that you actually understood what I was saying about the helping around the house. What most men seem to miss is the helping on a CONSISTANT basis. Not “I need sex so I’m loading the dishwasher tonight!”
I think a lot of the issues in my household I set right at the beginning of our marriage. I did everything! I never asked for help. I wanted to be the “June Cleaver” house wife, and my husband, being an only child and always having everything done for him fell into the roll perfectly. But as life changed so did I. Now I want to bitch slap June Cleaver tell her put on a T Shirt and sweat pants and gain some weight so the rest of us can feel normal!
I think it’s great that you are so involved in the day to day but obviously the sex life isn’t on track so that isn’t the issue. For me it’s part of it, not all of it. I have found talking to other women that some men that help A LOT usually don’t seem t feed their wives ‘Emotional’ needs. My husband is constantly telling me how great I am, but it’s just not enough to get me in the sack!
I honestly think that if I can start working on MYSELF and he start helping more we will meet in the middle. I would LOVE for you to continue to follow and comment and maybe we’ll find your map as well! It’s so important to hear different perspectives. So….
COME ON BONAMOS! Everybody let’s go! Come let’s get to it, I KNOW THAT WE CAN DO IT!
Where are we going? ….. TO GET SOME SEX!

Walking for a TUMMY TUCK UPDATE: I raised another $13.00 That's 13 more miles! I've walked 2 miles. I know have 14 miles to catch up on so I better get off my ass and start moving!!

THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!! I LOVE YOU ALL~

A comment I would like to share...

I had a comment I would like to share:

I've enjoyed your blog, but I don't see why I'm supposed to pay you for it.

First off: THANK YOU for reading my blog and I'm so thrilled you have enjoyed it!! I don't expect ANYONE to donate to my cause of weight loss and a better sex life that doesn't absolutely want to. I just deiced to try a new approach of accountability, working towards a goal, and testing some theories. I would LOVE for you to continue to read my blog even if you don't feel the need to donate.

Update: I raised $3.00 my first day!!!! I got on my treadmill last night at 9:30 pm and walked 2 miles. I will walk another mile today. I put on some AC DC and got my groove on! It felt great but not quite great enough to want to have sex... but it's only the first day so we'll see. I also have been calling my husband everyday at work to let him know I love him. I feel as though I'm on the right track! Got to get to work, I will keep you all updated! Thanks for your support!!

Do you have ED Zachery Disease?

I'm a woman, becoming more and more concerned that I may never succeed in improving my sex life with my mate, I decided to seek out the help of a sex therapist.
Searching through the phone book, I came upon a Japanese doctor, who happens to be a sex therapist, and I make an appointment.
After explaining my symptoms to the doctor, he says, "Take off all crowes and crawl real fass away from me across froor."
so out of desperation to please I crawl to the other side of the room. The doctor then says, "Now, you crawl real fass back to me." again, I do what he say's. The doctor then shakes his head and says, "You haf real bad case of Ed Zackary disease ... worse case I ever see! That why you haf sex problem."
Totally confused by his diagnosis, I asks, "What is Ed Zackary disease? I've never heard of it."
The doctor replies, "Ed Zackary disease ... that when your face rook Ed Zackary rike your ass!"

Please help me cure my Ed Zachary disease! Donate TODAY!

*DISCLAIMER*
* I did not write this joke.. I found it, changed it a bit and laughed my giant ass off!