In THE BEGINING

Well like all great mysteries, with this one I feel I have to start at the beginning in order to figure out how we got to where we are today. Like most couples we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Sex was not only a part of our relationship, it WAS the relationship, and looking back it’s amazing we got anything else accomplished. It was new and exciting, but unlike most fairytales we WEREN’T young and in love, we were young and horny…. But all that horniness and togetherness eventually led to love. My husband LOVES to revisit these days in our conversations. He’s always’ saying things like “why don’t you where sexier clothes? I remember when we were dating and you always matched your bra and panties, and you dressed sexy all the time” to which I immediately reply to “well that’s before I had stretch marks from my crotch to my breast, boobs full of leaking milk and as ass that needs a bit more material to stretch across it” But my favorite comment of all times has to be: “Maybe you should go see the doctor and see if there is something wrong with you? Maybe it’s hormonal” (SHOE QUICK!) I felt like saying “Maybe you should go visit the doctor to see how much it will cost to remove my 10 in heel from your fuc**** forehead!” Instead I lovingly replied “No honey, it’s not hormones it’s dishes, laundry, homework, housework and lack of sleep” to which he quickly responded “Uh. NO, you started changing after you had our first baby, I’m sure it’s hormones” Later that evening while filling out a police report as to why my husband was dead… (Kidding) I came up with a theory. I call it The New Car Smell theory!