THE WORST SEX LIFE EVER???

My husband told me the other night that he is certain we have the WORST sex life than ANY OTHER COUPLE out there! I was a little taken back, not a lot being as I would rather be doing just about anything rather than sex! I have to admit it has been a bit of a dry spell since our 3rd child was born a year ago, although, we were heading into the drought long before I found out I was pregnant. But, to say THE WORST THAN ANYONE got me thinking: do we? We couldn’t really have “THE WORST” And if in fact we did why?? I love my husband, he’s good to me, he takes care of himself, not overweight, pretty good looking, has good job, good father… so why is it the second he say’s those words “do you think we’re going to have sex tonight?” I want to take off my shoe and hurl it at his head? Why is that? Am I the only wife out there that wants’ to wear her deadliest heels to bed? Well this is a question I decided that needed to be answered. And I’m hoping that with this blog and my daily entries and your daily comments this mystery can be resolved, not only for me, but for others! I am going to journal my everyday sex life or Lack thereof and the reasons I didn’t feel like “PUTTING OUT” or did! And as we take this sex journey together maybe I will find that we do in fact have THE WORST sex life or maybe just maybe we don’t. Maybe were just like millions of other couples out there thinking there alone. And maybe we can all learn a little about what we can do to improve our sex lives with the ones we love! SO… sit back put your finger on your mouse and get ready to scroll!

In THE BEGINING

Well like all great mysteries, with this one I feel I have to start at the beginning in order to figure out how we got to where we are today. Like most couples we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Sex was not only a part of our relationship, it WAS the relationship, and looking back it’s amazing we got anything else accomplished. It was new and exciting, but unlike most fairytales we WEREN’T young and in love, we were young and horny…. But all that horniness and togetherness eventually led to love. My husband LOVES to revisit these days in our conversations. He’s always’ saying things like “why don’t you where sexier clothes? I remember when we were dating and you always matched your bra and panties, and you dressed sexy all the time” to which I immediately reply to “well that’s before I had stretch marks from my crotch to my breast, boobs full of leaking milk and as ass that needs a bit more material to stretch across it” But my favorite comment of all times has to be: “Maybe you should go see the doctor and see if there is something wrong with you? Maybe it’s hormonal” (SHOE QUICK!) I felt like saying “Maybe you should go visit the doctor to see how much it will cost to remove my 10 in heel from your fuc**** forehead!” Instead I lovingly replied “No honey, it’s not hormones it’s dishes, laundry, homework, housework and lack of sleep” to which he quickly responded “Uh. NO, you started changing after you had our first baby, I’m sure it’s hormones” Later that evening while filling out a police report as to why my husband was dead… (Kidding) I came up with a theory. I call it The New Car Smell theory!