LOOK AT MY TURLTE!

Have you ever noticed how proud men are of their shlongs? (that's what I call a penis)
A mans shlong is their buddy, their little friend. The one thing in life they can count on to always be there. When all alone and bored they know that it’s there, just hanging around waiting to cum out to play. Men are always grabbing it to make sure it hasn’t gone anywhere. Have you noticed in movies when men get mad and want to tell someone off they grab it aggressively, pull on it and say things like “Yea? Well suck this!” and they feel empowered when it’s in their hands! It seems to give them a sense of security like a loaded gun. “THIS IS MY DICK!” They think to themselves. And they are proud!

I’ve never thought “Shlongs” were necessarily a visual turn on. I mean, when their limp they kinda look like a turtle head pulled back into its shell with one tired eye always looking out. Then you have the balls hanging around… and when it’s hard? It seems like you better just take a hold of the situation before it gets out of hand!

Although I don’t think my husbands Shlong is...I don’t know, “CUTE” I think it’s cute how proud he is of it. Every time he whips it out of nowhere and shows it to me, it’s like a toddler showing me his first art project that he’s so proud of! I just shake my head, smile and say:
“Yes honey, it’s still there, and it’s YOUR DICK! Now put it away” and like a proud innocent yet evil little child he tucks his turtle back in its shell and skips away.

Donation update: I still haven't walked anymore or given my husband his "special" gift. NOt because I haven't tried, I have been up with the baby for 4 nights straight until 2 am! I plan on getting on track this week! I already have something special planned. You'll love it! THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!!

I have a MALE!!!

Ok, I have a Male and Female who have volunteered to do the interviews! This is going to be fun!! I am sending the interviews to them Via Email, Wednesday or Thursday of this week (I'm not quite done with the questions) and I will post their answers as soon as I receive them back.
Thanks!!

I have a Female, I need a MALE!

I have a female to interview for this blog. (read where theres a will theres a way post) Now I need a GUY! Come on boys... time to REPRESENT!!

Where there's a will there's a way....

Where there's a will there's a way
Meaning: If we have the determination to do something, we can always find the path or method to do it..

I heard this saying the other day and it got me to thinking about what I'm doing here on this blog. I thought about what this saying really means: If we have the determination to do something, we can ALWAYS find the way.

My husband told me we have the WORST sex life out of any married couple out there. Does this picture look familiar? Although she's playing cards on his back, he's ok because at least he's gettin some ass! Well, it looked familiar to me, though I don't play cards. It wasn't always like this. There was once a time when I felt sexy, and I ENJOYED sex. I really got into it. I liked being wanted. Now I just feel and act put out if my husband mentions it. I don't want to be the couple in this picture, do you?

It seems to in order to get our sex life (and marriage) back on track for me or anyone out there reading this that feel their relationship is in same boat, you have to start with a "WILL" to get it on track. So I asked myself: "am I willing to do what it takes to start having sex again on a regular basis, and not just have it to have it, but to ENJOY it and grow closer because of it?" And the answer for me was "YES"

I asked MYSELF the questions because the more I blog and self discover the more I realize that It is A LOT more about ME than I thought. It starts with me and what I need to do.

I think I'm on the right track as far as the "WAY" part goes. I'm working on myself. I'm making my husband a priority in my DAILY life. And with blogging it's helped to see that I'm not alone.

With that: I would like to interview a man and women for a post on my blog. ( it doesn't have to be a couple) I will email you a list of questions to answer that I feel would dig deeper into the sex life of married people from others perspectives. I would LOVE to see that we are not alone and that we can all (men and women) start working together to have healthier sex lives. I don't know about the rest of you but I want to feel YOUNG for a very long time and being active in the bedroom I feel will help that, a preferably with the one we love. SO, if you are interested in being interviewed for this blog, it can be anonymous or not please email me at : marriedsexlife@gmail.com

Donation Update: I just hit the $20 mark! YEA!! So, my husband is in for something special. (tomorrows post) Thanks for the comments, suggestions and donations!! My goal is to have my miles walked caught up with donations by Wednesday Sept. 30th and remember, giving is receiving!!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Donation Update

I got $3.00 more donated TODAY!!
THANKS SO MUCH!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! I'm going to walk 10 miles tomorrow! 5 miles in the morning 5 miles in the evening!
$1.00 more and I hit a $20.00 benchmark and I have to do something special for my husband. (any suggestions??) Come on boy's let's keep it clean!

AC/DC gets it, Why can't I??

So I’m working out on the treadmill trying to catch up on the miles donated to my TUMMY TUCK & Sex project. I’m listening to AC/DC. GREAT band. Here are the songs I heard in order:
*Back in Black
* Big Balls
*Given the dog a bone
*Have a drink on me
*It’s a long way to the Top (5,000 freaking miles for me if you donate a dollar today!)
*Let me put my love into you
*Little Lover
*Love at first FEEL
*Sink the Pig
*Squealer
*TNT
*What you do for money honey
*Who made who
*You shook me all night long!!
Now listen, if you’re going to work out to get your sex life on track, download these songs in this order and tell me you’re not ready to jump your husband by the end of your workout??

This is what I got out of the music,

*Back in Black I hit the sack, I bet your glad to be back with your Big Balls, Given me your doggy bone after having a drink on me cuz it’s a long way to the top if you let me put my love into you, little lover. I fell in LOVE at first Feel when we played sink the pig and I became a squealer! It was like TNT! And this blog??? What you do for money honey, Who made Who?? Who gives a shit? Just shake me all night long!

EVERY SINGLE SONG was related to SEX in some way! I felt my ass twitch a as I was shaken it while walking. I knew almost every word to every song. It was great! I really hadn’t listened to these songs since High School. I felt young. I wanted to rat my hair up as high as I could get it, put on some tight jeans (that’s easy, every pair I own are tight) lather my lips in shiny gloss, roll up a fatty of love and friendship and GET IT ON!
I knew I didn’t have the same body as I did in School, or a drug dealer, but I have something my husband wanted, and AC/DC told me to give it to him, who was I to argue?So yes, he got it tonight, not all night long, not even all minute long but who cares, I felt young, vibrant, and sexy (even a bit tipsy due to the wine) …. And that’s all that matters! Rock on Bitches, ROCK ON!

The Man Who Listened... (ANOTHER MALE COMMENT!)

I would LOVE every women to read this comment by a man!

ok, so I have been shown your blog by my wife and I find it interesting. The following are my

thoughts. I currently think my wife and I could compete with you for "the worst" sex life. 10+ years of marriage, 3 kids with one being a just over 1 year have taken the toll on us. I, being male, do think with my lower head like pretty much like every male out there. And yes your "whoop there it is" post would apply to me as well, you want to know why? Well you never know when that split second of horny might happen.

Don't get me wrong I know I am a little annoying with it but I would take anything I can get right now. My wife expresses your same contempt for her body as you do; childbirth has done its damage... to the both of us! My sympathy weight came on with hers. My wife tells me that she is not happy with her body and that is why she would rather not have sex. She doesn't feel sexy. I am nothing to look at right now either but I am working on it. I know my wife loves me I just wish that physical connection was there and more frequent.

I have yet to meet or even hear about the woman that is into sex, that isn't getting paid for it, like men are. We are interested in having sex pretty much at anytime in anyplace. Do you enjoy sex? Do you have sex with your husband to get it over with or to please yourself? Do you have the big O every time? Do you tell your husband what you want? The answer to these will reveal some issues I think.

I think your goal for $5000 is great and I am pretty sure you will get “donations” from your husband as well if he is smart.

But while I mention him let me tell you something about the picture you paint about him. You paint with your words as well as Bob Ross painting some happy little trees. Your husband sounds like a Jack Ass. Does he dig ditches for a living? Is his job stressful? Missile command? Air traffic control? Construction? A 3 hour nap after work? Are you fu***** kidding me? I have worked some shitty jobs in my day but after 1 week I am used to the schedule and can function after work. You say your husband reads this blog, well I hope he reads this part, GROW UP! The days of Ward and June Cleaver died out long ago. Participate with your family before it is only weekends that you get to see your kids. Ok that might have been a little harsh but if the painting that I am looking at fits the subject, I don't think I am.

I have a pretty easy job. I am a desk jockey in the technical field, but I worked hard to get where I am. I help out at home quite a bit if I do say so myself. My day would be like this. Wake up with the kids and help with them to be ready to be out the door for school; go to work; come home and help with kids, house, dinner, whatever; help get the kids to bed; spend time doing my own things and hang out with the wife till she falls asleep or I do. Personally I run on about 5-6 hours of sleep, more than that and I feel worse off. I know I could be the exception to the rule that you state but that is how I feel things in a modern home should be.

I am not saying that your situation is any better than mine, but I see your switches quite clearly. If I knew that “dishes = sex” you would never see a dish in the sink. You are laying out the treasure map for your husband. Hell if this was Dora the Explorer some freaky little map would be jumping up and down right now yelling "LAWN, DISHES, PLEASURE VALLEY!"
I am interested to follow you along on your journey and see where or what becomes of this. I will probably comment again but I will try to keep it brief. Maybe I can find the Treasure map at my house along the way.

My response:
Oh my goodness! Where to begin!
First off, THANK YOU for what seems to be such an honest comment. AND I LOVED the “DORA THE EXPLORER” add in, I was just LAUGHING my ass off! It was great! Just the fact you know the show shows me that you are in tune with your kids.
Secondly, My husband is not a "Jack ASS" he's not perfect for sure but who is? I'm the only one allowed to call him namses!

To answer your questions… Honestly?
Do you have sex with your husband to get it over with: Yes. Not ALWAYS to get it over with but because I know he needs it at least once in awhile and I’m his wife, sooooo…..And RARELY to just please myself. I could go MONTHS without it and never give it a second thought.

Do you have the big O every time? No. I have a little “O” here and there and once in awhile a medium to large “O” I don’t have easy “O”’s by any means it takes some effort and being as I usually start out with “ok, we have about 3.5 min before the baby wakes up so make it quick!” I think I pretty much set the pace right out of the gate. To be honest, I really don’t care to have the big “O” that much. And from talking to a lot of my friends, they don’t care either. I think it means more to the man that he is able to deliver the big “O” than to women that she has one. It gives him a sense of validation in the bedroom.


I appreciate the fact that you actually understood what I was saying about the helping around the house. What most men seem to miss is the helping on a CONSISTANT basis. Not “I need sex so I’m loading the dishwasher tonight!”
I think a lot of the issues in my household I set right at the beginning of our marriage. I did everything! I never asked for help. I wanted to be the “June Cleaver” house wife, and my husband, being an only child and always having everything done for him fell into the roll perfectly. But as life changed so did I. Now I want to bitch slap June Cleaver tell her put on a T Shirt and sweat pants and gain some weight so the rest of us can feel normal!
I think it’s great that you are so involved in the day to day but obviously the sex life isn’t on track so that isn’t the issue. For me it’s part of it, not all of it. I have found talking to other women that some men that help A LOT usually don’t seem t feed their wives ‘Emotional’ needs. My husband is constantly telling me how great I am, but it’s just not enough to get me in the sack!
I honestly think that if I can start working on MYSELF and he start helping more we will meet in the middle. I would LOVE for you to continue to follow and comment and maybe we’ll find your map as well! It’s so important to hear different perspectives. So….
COME ON BONAMOS! Everybody let’s go! Come let’s get to it, I KNOW THAT WE CAN DO IT!
Where are we going? ….. TO GET SOME SEX!

Walking for a TUMMY TUCK UPDATE: I raised another $13.00 That's 13 more miles! I've walked 2 miles. I know have 14 miles to catch up on so I better get off my ass and start moving!!

THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!! I LOVE YOU ALL~